You’ll want to repeat this same drill for any colleges or graduate schools you’ve attended, and for the various companies where you have worked. Connections from my days at PepsiCo and Kraft Foods have been invaluable over the years. Again, remember that we are just compiling the list. Don’t filter it, and don’t make the mistake of saying, “Well, they wouldn’t remember me.” In fact, let’s work on the assumption that they won’t remember you. Later, I’ll share with you an easy method for reconnecting that takes just a few minutes.  

To continue adding to the list, ask yourself, “Whom do I know because I read books?” This is one of my personal favorites, perhaps it’s because I’ve written eight books or because I appreciate the lonely nature of being a writer. When you combine this solitary pursuit with the desire for appreciation that all authors have, it becomes surprisingly easy to develop relationships.  

My own experience again offers a case in point. Since I specialize in marketing to the affluent, I’m a voracious reader of books that focus on the rich. Many years ago, I sent a note to Dominick Dunne, who wrote many bestsellers about the peccadilloes of the wealthy. It started out “I don’t normally write letters like this...” I know that sounds a bit like how letters to an editor may tend to start, but it’s a surprisingly effective way to get attention. I wasn’t really expecting to hear back, but somewhat to my surprise, I did. Over the next ten years, Dominick offered helpful insights on the tribal nature of the rich. I remain extremely grateful that he shared his perspective.  

In a related example, I had the opportunity a few years back to work with some clients in Singapore and South Asia. Although I had a hunch that marketing to the affluent would be different in these cultures, I wasn’t entirely sure how. I had enjoyed Kevin Kwan’s Crazy Rich Asians saga, so I decided to reach out to him.  

As in the previous case, I didn’t expect much, but I was pleasantly surprised when he emailed back. Kevin was extremely generous and provided a wonderful perspective on the unique cultural customs of the wealthy in Asia. Suffice it to say if you’re a reader (and you really should be), connecting with authors can both enrich your knowledge base and provide introductions that might otherwise be extremely difficult to get.  

As we continue to compile our list of connections, we ought to be wary of the fallacy of social media. Unfortunately, in this day and age, we tend to think of “connections” as people with whom we have a social-media relationship. That’s extremely limiting, and to be honest, most of your Facebook or Instagram connections aren’t worth much. There are certainly exceptions, but most of the online connections that will ever amount to anything are on LinkedIn. Focus your efforts there.  

Who else do you know? The list is really only limited by your imagination. Who do you know because you live in the neighborhood you live in? Who do you know because of the clubs you belong to, because of the sports you play, or because of your other hobbies and activities? Who do you know because you have children? Think about what you engage in, where you socialize, and what occurs on a day-to-day basis. Who do you know as a result of those things?  

It’s extremely important to recognize that this exercise will only work if you write down the names. Simply thinking about who might be in your network isn’t enough. Write the names and don’t filter them. As I said, at this stage, it’s just a data dump. One participant in our class said that he almost didn’t write the name of his kids’ babysitter. His initial thought was “Who could she possibly know?” Then he remembered who else she babysat for.  

Step Two – Connecting with People on Your List 

Let’s now turn our attention to how to connect with the people on your list. As a start, I’d go through the list and sort the names into three groups: prospects you know personally, prospects you know casually, and people who could connect you to prospects. As you do this, ask yourself, “What might be an excuse or reason to connect or reconnect with this person?” If nothing comes to mind, don’t worry. I’ll give you a few ideas shortly.  

Remember that the first goal is to create and develop a relationship. As much as you might wish that it could be otherwise, you are not yet ready to pitch your services. The affluent will not buy from you unless you have a relationship with them or with someone they trust.  

Without further ado, let’s reach out to the people on your list. If you’re contacting someone you actually know, you could send an email with a personal variation of the following.  

“I’ve been terrible at staying in touch with people who meant a lot to me at school / when we worked together / however you know them. I thought I would reach out to see how you are doing.”  

Next, give a brief update on what you have been doing. Make sure that it does not sound the least bit “salesy.” Conclude with a call to action like “I was hoping that you might have fifteen minutes free over the next couple of weeks for me to pick your brain about (a topic).”  

A message like this has a good chance of progressing your relationship with the recipient.  

You can modify your messaging a bit to reach out to someone with whom you have only a casual relationship. As readers of mine know, I’m a firm believer in the importance of writing a blog and, ultimately, books. It’s with the casual acquaintance that this proves invaluable. For example, I might swap out the call to action above with something like:  

I’m working on an article (or book) about (topic). I could really use your perspective on (something very specific that I know this person would have knowledge about). Your expertise and insight would be enormously helpful. Do you have twenty minutes available sometime over the next two weeks for a quick chat?  

Everyone wants to feel important, and one of the easiest ways to get people to connect with you is to play to that fundamental human need. If the writing pretext isn’t appropriate for you, consider another way that you might derive some genuine value from their input.  

When it comes to connecting with people who might be able to refer you to a prospect, we recommend something different. Over the years, we’ve tried all sorts of different approaches on behalf of our clients. Nothing has generated a better response than brutal honesty. Simply craft a message stating the following.  

Step Three – Systematic Follow Up 

Once you’ve reached out to your connections, you’ll need to systematically follow up. It would be great if others acted on all of your outreach, but the reality is that you’ll get a deafening silence from far more people than you would hope. We suggest following the “rule of three.” Simply put, make three sincere attempts to reach a person. Vary the initial message slightly each time but be consistent with the call to action. If you don’t hear anything back after three attempts, my recommendation is to move on to other prospects.  

Having said that, it’s worth mentioning the experience of an associate of mine who very much wanted to connect with Richard Branson. It took eighty-three messages, but the sheer persistence ultimately won the day. Perhaps that might be worthwhile for your personal dream connection, but realistically, most of us don’t have the patience or temperament to make that level of concerted effort.  

Once you’ve established or reestablished a relationship, you’ll need a strategy for staying in touch. If you use the article-writing pretext, you’ll certainly want to send them a copy of the piece once it’s done. Beyond that, it’s a matter of how often you think you need to be in contact in order to maintain their awareness about you.  

Next, let’s take a moment to discuss referrals, which provide a powerful supplement to your networking efforts. Referrals come from two primary sources: people who are similar to your prospective clients and the trusted advisors of those prospects. You want to cultivate relationships with both groups.  

You can start by seeking referrals from your existing clients, and you can improve the quality of the referrals you get by using the power of exclusivity. To do this, meet personally with your top clients. Specifically, meet with the type of client that you’d like to have more of. Tell them that you’ve just finished your annual business plan and explain that you’ve determined that you can add a limited number of new clients like them to your practice. Say, “Before I add them in the traditional way, is there anyone that you would like to recommend?” Then stop talking and wait.  

Let’s now discuss expanding your network by building relationships with the trusted advisors of the rich. When we hear the term “trusted advisor,” we tend to only think of accountants, financial planners and lawyers. I want you to think about the term more generally. In fact, most of the people who provide services to high-net-worth individuals are trusted advisors. 

In many cases, a relationship develops over time that might be best described as a paid friend. Research by Huron Wealth supports the conclusion that the wealthy have few traditional friends due to easy-to-guess reasons. Paid friends meet the need for human connection that is important to everyone. As in any friendship, paid or not, conversations cover a wide variety of topics. This presents an interesting relationship-building opportunity if it is handled in the right way. 

I want you to think about with whom the wealthy have service relationships. A partial list could include financial advisors, real estate agents, luxury retailers, art gallery owners, interior designers, personal trainers, chiropractors, yoga instructors and hairdressers. The full list could include almost anyone with whom a prospect might spend one-on-one time. One way to construct this list is to ask your existing wealthy clients whom they work with for various types of services.  

When building relationships with the advisors to the wealthy, you want to think about what their wants and needs are, and what you could do to help them. Go beyond the immediate and obvious realization that they probably want more clients. Sometimes that’s not even the case. Focus instead on their hobbies, activities and other things that they’re interested in.  

Once you’ve identified what those things are, remember that for every interest there is an influencer. An influencer is someone who has built a reputation for expertise or for knowledge of trends in their field. They might be the author of a book, or they might have a large social media presence. Research a topic on Amazon or on YouTube to identify the well-known people in that field. These are the people that would interest the advisors to the wealthy. Can you arrange an event where an influencer or expert would speak? Can you connect an advisor with an influencer directly?  

I never would have guessed this, but many yoga instructors in South Carolina have a strong interest in shag dancing. Do you want to build relationships with these people? Sponsor a private shag event. This is how one insurance producer developed a relationship with a yoga instructor who had a lot of very wealthy clients. She estimated to me that this one event eventually resulted in 11 new clients. 

Obviously, what we are doing here is playing the long game. Your competition is directly banging away at the wealthy prospects and hoping to get their attention. They don’t really have anything original to say. They usually try some variation of “I thought it would be good for us to connect” or, even worse, “I have a solution/process/fintech thing that’s truly unique.” Using this simple three-step process, we can do a lot better than that. 

For the past 31 years Mark Satterfield has worked with insurance producers on strategies to attract more affluent clients. You can get a free copy of his bestselling book The Affluent Marketing Blueprint by visiting http://www.getwealthyclients.com 

Publication Date: March 29, 2024

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