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14 Tips for Calming Upset Customers

Author: Rebecca Morgan

Upset customers can be unnerving. But with the right attitude and techniques, many of these people can be turned into satisfied, loyal customers. It's not always easy, but it's worth it. In this article, I'll present 14 tips that you can use to calm upset customers...half deal with general principles and half target specific behaviors and responses that you can learn and control. 

 

Because of my book Calming Upset Customers, I'm often asked to give some general guidelines for handling these stress-producing encounters. The following offers some general thoughts for you and your staff.

General Philosophy:

1. Don't take upset customers' rantings and ravings personally. Don't get emotionally hooked. When you let him or her "push your buttons," you lose. When you respond emotionally -- with anger, sarcasm, upset, tears -- you can't respond rationally. He wants to upset you because he thinks you'll give him what he wants to get rid of him.

2.  Make it a game or challenge to see how many upset customers you can turn around. See if you can get him to be reasonable.

3. Look for the "gifts" upset customers offer you. These gifts are what they can teach you about dealing with ugly human behavior. The better you deal with them, the fewer upset people you'll have in your life. They'll see through your body language and composure that you are confident you can find a solution without getting rattled.

4.  Understand that obnoxious customers are often embarrassed because they made a mistake and want to blame it on you.

5.  Respond by being reasonable, firm, pleasant, mature, and professional to show them that you're going to do what you think is right no matter how obnoxious they get. They think that being rude is the only way to get action.

6. Don't give away the store to shut her up. That rewards her behavior and teaches her, and others, that acting belligerently is the way to get what she wants.

7. Remind yourself that this abusive person must really have problems if this is how he treats others. He doesn't respect himself so he doesn't show respect for others. He doesn't know what you know about how to get people to do what you want-happily.

Specific Behaviors:

8. Listen fully -- don't interrupt. If you do, it will escalate her anger. Take notes, looking up often to maintain eye contact. Assume body language that shows you're interested and concerned.

9. Have a respectful tone, even though you don't respect his behavior. Have a calm but concerned voice tone. Don't get distracted.

10. Remove the upset customer from the main customer area, if possible. She rants and raves to get attention and knows that many people will give her what she wants to shut her up quickly.

11. Let him cool off when on the phone by saying that you need to research the situation and possible solutions, and ask if you may call him back. Then do so at the appointed time. He probably will have calmed down by the time you call him back.

12. Talk about what you can do, not what you can't do. Put it positively. Don't talk about the "policy." This will anger her more.

13. Use the "broken record" technique, firmly, yet politely, repeating what you can do for him.

14. Ignore her impoliteness and cursing. She's really lashing out at your organization, even though she may say "you're incompetent" via various phrasings. If you allow the cursing to offend you, you've lost your objectivity and control, and she's won. Edit her comments in your head so you can make sense of her words without getting upset. For example, "You're a fool. Why did you do this wrong? Who would ever hire an incompetent worker like you?" translates into: "She's really upset. Something is wrong. What can I do to help set it right?"

An important concept to remember is that you won't please all people. You should do the best you can, but there are some customers your organization can do better without. It is management's responsibility to determine if this customer is one that should be encouraged to utilize someone else's services. Upset customers can be unnerving. But with the right attitude and techniques, many of these people can be turned into satisfied, loyal customers. It's not always easy, but it's worth it.

Rebecca L. Morgan, CSP, CMC, is a professional speaker and seminarist. She is the author of four books, TurboTime: Maximizing Your Results Through Technology, Calming Upset Customers, Life's Lessons: Insights and Information for a Richer Life, and Professional Selling. For information on her speaking services, books, and tapes contact her at 1440 Newport Ave., San Jose, CA 95125, 408/998-7977, 800/247-9662, fax: 408/998-1742, rebecca@RebeccaMorgan.com, www.RebeccaMorgan.com.

Copyright 1988 by Morgan Seminar Group, Inc. Used with permission.

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